MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
