..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
