I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
