Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
