Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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