YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Randomize
