I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
