Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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