i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You're like the curious george of whores
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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