I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
