I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
