it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Someone signed my nipple.
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