that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
