I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I didn't notice because vodka
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
