I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
