My liver just broke up with me...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
