Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My underwear smells like fireworks.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
