I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
