They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
