If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my being single is dangerous.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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