You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
