Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
