im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
