Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
