My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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