Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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