This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
