I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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