she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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