Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
