I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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