sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I can feel your judgement through the phone
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
