This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
