Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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