Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
