my mouth tastes like poor choices
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
