hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
