you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
