If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
someone owes me an orgasm
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
