My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
