There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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