Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
