apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
