i jhust puked up my retainher.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
