I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
