Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Life is so much better after having sex.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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