By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have feelings that need drinking.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
