but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
