Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
