I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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