sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
