We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
